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12/13/2011
I've thinking for the right title.
But can't find one.
This blog had been my corner for letting out of all those feelings.
Good. Bad. Happy. Sad.
Angry. Mad. Bitter. Glad.
Such a sentimental feeling and value.
Dad used to come here and checked on me.
But blogdrive has become boring.
And updating it from the office once became such a nuisance.
So, this is me, parting from this blog.. officially.
I'll continue ranting and whining from a blogspot, one I had once abandoned.
Welcome there, friends.
http://myconclusion.blogspot.com
Posted at 5:22:50 pm by wonderfulworld
Permalink
1/14/2011
This is about... a bag, or two.
Kalau posting ni poyo, let me be.
Tapi aku nak tulis jugak.
Aku nak let it out of my head.
Out of my heart.
Aku tgh meracau nak cake by petunia pickle bottom.
Juniper Berry Cake - Clutch or a carryall. Berharga $135. or $345.
In Malaysian Ringgit, without postage. That would be RM414. or RM1058.
Oh kenapa ni?
Please wake me up.
Aku rasa ini hanyalah satu kemarukan nak berbelanja.
Am I sure I want this?
Entah.. tapi asek teringat je.
At the same time, teringat plak kat customized le cabas. longchamp. RM1480.
Mengada-ngadakah aku?
I am never like this. With bags.
I have never wanted a handbag, so bad.
Kalau kawan aku ingat, mesti they know, I would choose roller blades over handbags.
Adakah maksudnya, I've finally grown up? At 33?
Adakah ini maksud keinginan ini?
Oh.. finally. I understand myself.
See it helps to write things down.
There, aku rasa lebih baik..
now that I understand my longings.
Tapi, aku still nak cake by petunia.
Sekian.
Posted at 10:41:30 am by wonderfulworld
Permalink
8/30/2010
This is about... Mr. No. 3
Nota Kepada Baby No. 3
Wahai Encik Nazif.
Selamat Enam Bulan.
Rasa macam baru je semalam ibu mengandung enam bulan, hari ni awak dah enam bulan. Sepatutnya kita pergi jumpa Dr. Bee untuk mendapatkan suntikan imunisasi awak yang keempat. Tapi banyak sangat pulak obligasi sosial, belum berkesempatan nak berjumpa Dr. Bee. Lagi pun, kalau nak pergi klinik doktor tu kena ambik cuti sehari. Ibu nak yang terbaik untuk awak, kenalah pegi doktor yang best.
Awak ni, makin hari makin comel, makin bijak. Makin kelakar pun ada jugak. Lain betul perkembangan awak daripada Abang & Kakak. Lahir-lahir, awak dah semangat. Baby yang kuat. Boleh angkat kepala lama-lama. Lepas tu, lambat pulak mengiring. Dah pandai pusing-pusing, terus nak merangkak. Takde pulak mengengsot laju-laju macam abang kakak dulu. Paling kelakar kalau semua orang agah, awak takde gelak kuat-kuat. Mulut je gaya macam gelak, tapi takde suara. Kelakarlah awak ni.
Tapi, dalam semangat awak tu, kenapa awak selalu sakit? Ibu kesian sangat tengok awak susah nak bernafas. En. Nazif, ibu tau awak baby yang kuat. Awak mesti lawan semua penyakit tu. Nanti bila awak dah pandai jalan, kita pergi taman dengan Abang & Kakak ye.
Abang & Kakak sebenar sayang sangat dengan awak. Kakak tu geram. Abang tu pulak suka menyakat. Harap dah besar nanti takdelah awak kena buli.
Minggu depan, InsyaAllah ibu bawak awak jumpa Dr. Bee ye. En. Nazif masa tu, mesti kuat dan sihat. Nanti ibu buatkan bubur sedap˛, kita makan. Ye, ibu makan sama. Heheh.
Selamat Enam Bulan, Encik Nazif.
Semua orang sayang awak.
Posted at 4:50:09 pm by wonderfulworld
Permalink
8/16/2010
Macam-macam dugaan di bulan puasa.
Bulan lain takde dugaan? Ada agaknya..
Tapi bulan ni.. kesabaran lebih teruji agaknya.
Atau pun, mungkin diduga pada bulan ini supaya hati lebih tenang semasa menerima.
Entahlah.
Yang pasti, redha dan berusaha mengatasinya.
Seorang kawan, secara tidak diduga telah ditukarkan ke Bahagian lain di tempat kerja.
Surat datang. Serta-merta.
Entah siapalah yang merancang.
Tapi boss tiada di pejabat semasa kejadian, mahupun hari ini.
Jadi tak dapatlah bersemuka.
Aku harap dia redha. Aku mmg faham perasaan beliau.
Aku pernah berada di tempat yang sama.
Aku pasti ada kebaikan di sebalik semua ni.
Pada hujung minggu, seorang kawan menelefonku.
Ada seorang kawan baik kami menghadapi pergolakan dalam rumah tangganya.
Rumah tangga mana tak pernah berkocak.
Siapalah letak perumpamaan sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit.
Apalah maksudnya tu.. Yelah, dah lidah duk dkt˛ dgn gigi, mestilah tergigit.
Dinding pipi pun kadang tergigit. Apalah punya perumpamaan.
Walau apa pun, aku berharap, aku dapat terus memberi sokongan dan apa saja yang kawanku perlukan daripada aku dalam saat-saat genting macam ni.
Aku takde nasihat yang bernas untuk beliau, kecuali tabahlah.
Mesti ada jalan penyelesaian.
Aku pulak, taska anak aku, minggu lepas, asyik menyuruh aku ambil anak pada jam 5.30 ptg sepanjang Ramadan ini.
Tak masuk akal. Aku kata, 5.30 aku baru nak ketik kad.
Kemudian dia mintak 6.30. Aku kata, aku cuba.
Hari pertama, ok. Hari kedua, trafik terlalu amat teruk.
Belum sampai tol pun macam ada accident kat depan pejabat aku ni.
Hari jumaat, dengan hujannya lagi, lagilah tak dapat.
Aku tiba, elok-elok masa untuk berbuka.
Alhamdullillah, Allah menunjuk jalan kepada aku.
Bekas pekerja taska tersebut bersetuju untuk menjaga anak aku.
Rumah beliau pun sangat bersih. Semoga anak aku lebih sihat selepas ini.
Kepada yang lain, yang ada menghadapi dugaan pada bulan Ramadan ini,
mungkin Allah sangat sayang pada anda semua.
Bila diduga, biasanya kita banyak beristighfar, berzikir dan berdoa.
Maka, mungkin dengan cara tersebut, membanyakkan lagi pahala kita di bulan puasa ini.
Redha dan bersabarlah ye.
InsyaAllah ada kebaikan untuk kita semua.
Wahai JM, Roadtrip ke BP masih on kah?
Posted at 1:21:13 pm by wonderfulworld
Permalink
8/4/2010
This is about... the flawed mom
My friend is paranoid about my daughter's development.
Which part? Socially mostly.. (kan?)
Looking back, and thinking of ths particular friend's concern..
I feel that I need to seriously think about anger management and snapping control... because, I must be my doing that she's like dat kan...
Kalau tak sape lagi.
You know how those abusive parent would snap at their kids/spouse and beat them as if they had been rasuked? (i know there's an english term, but dah tua.. sumo lupo) And then later, really regret it and apologise. And seriously wonder, what had got into them at that moment.. Nothing could really explain it.
Well, embarassingly.. I have those moments, sometimes.
You can close your mouths, because, no, I never beat my children.
Insane ke apa.. I just have this emotional, vocal lashing at them sometimes.
And no, I don't use abusive words.. but I just yell and nag, especially in the car. Especially when I feel so hopeless and helpless.
And the kids just have to endure it.. sebab nak lari kat mana kan.. dalam kereta.
See, how mean I can be..
So, when they lie in bed before dozing off, I look at them and wonder,
How could I do this mental torture to them.
Dah lah penat keluar dari pagi balik malam.. lagi kena dengar aku mengamuk.
But at those moments, mmg aku macam hilang kawalan.
Counting to ten or even a million, makes me more agitated.
Beristighfar? Yes.. I do it. AFTER dah mengamuk. Sebab masa nak lash out tu, it happens in seconds. Kadang dah istighfar dah.. tarik je nafas, the two would be screaming and pushing and fighting and the back. Especially that favorite daughter of Encik H.
So, if you are thinking of offering advice, do it delicately ye..
I write this here because I know the my friends who come by here do not have that "holier than thou" attitude. Because of course, I am the flawed mom.
Posted at 1:07:52 pm by wonderfulworld
Permalink
7/1/2010
This is about... being late
This week is a little bit crazy.
All because of Baby No. 3.
Everyone's schedule seem to revolve around him.
Hai lah hai.
Anyway, this week he had been really cranky and needs to be held all the time. Did I say all the time? I meant ALLLLLLLLL the time, even when he sleeps.
As soon as we reach home, I need to put him to bed. But he needs to be held kan, kenalah cuddle him up. And then, mommie falls asleep too.
And then, wakes up at every hour, and falls back to sleep (baby and mommy lah).
Before I know it, it's already 6.45am.
Imagine 6.45 - belum gosok baju, basuh bottle susu, fill the botol susu, buat bekal, mandi. Aaaaarrgghhh. Of course I become an orang gila.
Kenapa tak buat sebelum tido.. erm, didn't u read, kan sampai je rumah kena tido.
So, Afnan had been late twice already.
Once he asked, why are we late?
I answered, because mommy has to do everything. Even your tasks mommy has to do.
Yesterday, I knew the prefect is going to take down his name again so I apologized.
Then he said: I did my part today. Washed the bekas bekal, dried it, isikan bekal. Took my stuffs into the car etc. But still, we are late.
Alamak. Sorrylah beb. Mommy mmg unorganized banyak.
Posted at 11:54:31 am by wonderfulworld
Permalink
6/7/2010
This is about... a thousand ringgit, tak dapat.
Mesti orang kata aku stupid sebab tak tau warna bendera south africa.
I'm sorry I forgot the white.
And sorry aku stupid football..
Kay dan June, please jangan marah aku.
Kalau tak boleh kit akaraoke sampai esok pagi dengan seribu ringgit kan.
Which reminds me, Kay, voucher KFC tinggal 40 hinggit je.
Posted at 9:32:46 am by wonderfulworld
Permalink
6/2/2010
This is about.. my 23rd birthday.
And so. Here I am.
32 years.
What happened today?
I woke up at 2am.
Encik Suami wished me a Happy Birthday.
Hmmm.. i think this is the first time
that he became the first ever to wish me on my birthday.
Anyway, since I was up, and baby was kind enough to sleep,
I baked a cheesecake.
Thanks to FB, so many people wished me.
Certainly made my day.
Definitely was different than last year
when more chose to SMS, while this year,
more chose the cheaper medium - FB.
And as like 2007, I bought myself a stabaks tumbler.
The one I first bought, dah pecah dan buang.
My wish and prayer for my birthday, is that
my mom will be healthy and strong each day and
may Allah forgives all her sins in return for raising me well,
despite our ups and downs and collision of love and hate.
And also that this time next year, I'd celebrating it with my closest
friends from uni years somewhere exotic. Batu Pahat pun exotic gak.
Heheheh.
That's all the update for today.
Posted at 3:55:29 pm by wonderfulworld
Permalink
5/26/2010
This is about... outstation
Me outstation to Kuantan je.
But having to leave Baby No. 3 was so dramatic.
At 4am, he decided to have a fever.
We immediately took him to the clinic.
(and selambanya leaving Son and Daughter sleeping at home)
The doctor didn't do much pun,
just gave us paracetamol, antibiotic and some ubat batuk.
And told us to bathe him.
I gave him only the paracetamol.
And bathe him at 4.30am.
He was so happy.
Then, I left milk for two days at nursery.
Milk for night at moms.
And was late for work.
In the evening left Kuantan.
That night, everybody (except for Dino)
was at my mom's trying to "entertain" Baby No. 3.
My meeting ended at 6.30pm.
That night, before I reached home, drama began again.
Baby was crying. Pacifier not around.
So he cried and cried and cried.
Mr Suami stressed.
Mr Suami went to the nursery thinking they forgot to put it in the bag.
Ransacked the whole nursery - no!
Called every baby's parent - no!
Borrowed a pacifier from the nursery.
And then he pooped. And we were out of diapers.
Erk!
I planned to buy the day before but terforgot.
Mr Suami was like orang gila and bengang.
I called my Kak Long, who was at my mom's.
I was at Temerloh by this time.
And she helped to buy pampers and send them over.
Apparently, my mom did not send his bottles to the nursery.
And also the pacifier.
Hmmm....
And finally I reached home at 11.30pm.
All was in order by that time.
Fuhhh!
Son was sleeping at my mom's.
Daughter was sleeping next to baby, as always.
Next morning I asked her, why didn't she sleep at her Neni's (my mom) house.
She said: Sbb I want to see you.
Alah, terharunya aku.
Posted at 11:37:10 am by wonderfulworld
Permalink
5/10/2010
Last friday, both my kids brought me mother's day presents.
My son bought a RM1 flower from the bookshop at his school, and my daughter had to make decorated cd in class.
My son said he bought early because, "nanti tak sempat nak beli. ahad kan afnan cuti".
That night as I was nursing the baby, I called my son to sit next to me and said to him:
"Thank you for the gift. I love it. I've put it on the kitchen wall.
But next time, you don't have to spend money buying me gifts ya.
If you can take care of your two adiks, ibu will be very happy".
That night he just nodded. Didn't say a thing.
The next morning when he woke up, I was nursing the baby again.
(as if i had never gotten out of bed).
Daughter had just wished me a Happy Mother's Day.
Then he came close to me a whispered:
"I will do that thing you asked me to do last night".
Posted at 11:22:25 am by wonderfulworld
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