Ini entry yang lajulah.
Semalam saya buat jamuan raya since it's Syawal,
in conjuction with Afnan's & Sorfina's birthday.
Makanan banyak leftover.
Kawan ramai jugak yang turn up, though I was hoping for more.
Ada balloon, ada clown, ada cake, ada khemah.
Saje nak sebut khemah tu sebab saya rasa over.

Anyway, sebab terlalu penat, (rumah pun tak habis kemas)
saya cuti.
Budak² ni pun (my kids) nak ikut cuti.
Fine, I said. But if you quarrel, I'll send you both to school.
Guess what? It didn't take them long.
As they were playing with their brand new flash and dash that they got for birthday presents, and I was just about to heat up my bfast, one was already crying.
I just ignored it.
Then he came up to me and said, my throat hurts, and I feel choked.
Whatever, I thought, rolling my eyes.
Then he started wailing.

That's when I demanded the two of them to take their shower and send them straight to school, though it was already 8.30am. But of course, not before fighting with the elder one.
When I said fight, I do mean, fight as in bertumbuk dan bercakar.
Sampai sekolah I ask my son, do you want to tell the truth or do you want to tell a white lie?
He said, I don't want to tell the truth that my mom sent me to school because I was a naughty boy. So, I said fine, just say you had a bad stomachache and now you're ok. He agreed.

In conclusion: 

• Adakah aku mak yang evil?
• Adakah aku mak yang bad for teaching my son to lie?
• Atau aku mak yang cool sbb sempoi je antar anak aku lambat dan tak rasa bersalah?
  

I was in a well known bookshop in the heart of the city looking for a certain book, under a specific subject.

It took me a while to look for it because the bookshop was so big. Good thing they had these big title on top of the shelves. Unfortunately, the one I was looking for was covered by the big books displayed.

Anyway, I was thrilled when I found those books under that subject. Well, we all know that books aren't cheap, especially imported ones. I expected them to anything between 100 and 200 ringgit. But lo and behold, the one book that I was interested in costed 395!!! Almost 400 ringgit. Can you believe it? I almost fainted. I've never thought a book about Project Management can cost THAT much! And frankly most are above 200 ringgit. The cheapest I found was 90, then 70, then 50. But only one of each price.

Seriously, how expenxive can project managers demand? I mean, if you learn from expensive books, you must cost a lot right?

Anyway, at a time like this, makes me miss university's library so much. I used to love UiTM's library.

Ps: No, I'm not trying to be a better project manager, or trying to sit for Project Management Professional (PMP) Exam - maybe that's why they're expensive, just got a paper to do.

Tiap kali aku gi office, aku tanya diri aku...
Kenapalah aku datang office ni.
Bukan apa, tak penahnya ada parking.
Kalau aku sampai lepas 7.30 pagi je, mesti dah takde parking.
Kenapalah aku ni tak dapat designated parking.
Macam mana aku nak sampai sebelum pukul 7.30??
Pintu pagar sekolah si sorfina tu pun bukak 7.35.
Hmmmmm...
Teringat aku ada  mamat kat radio ni cakap dia benci pergi kerja.
Dia kata macam mana nak bersemangat, nak carik parking pun tak jumpa.
Sampai office, boss tunjuk target. Impossible to achieve.
Menyampahnya... katanya dia.

Kalau korang jumpa orang MLM dengan keadaan/kata-kata macam ni, mesti diorang cakap, "so why are you still stuck at the same job, even after all (kalau aku letaklah five) years?

Sekadar meluahkan perasaan.

Hmmmmm....

Me: Sorfina, baju ibu buruk eh?
Her: Taklah, cantik. Tapi tudung tak.
Me: Ha?? Kenapa? (Ok, I didn't expect that, sbb ini tudung baru beli semalam, ok!)
Her: Sebab, warna dia tak sama dengan baju.
Me: Kan warna merah jugak.
Her: Tapi tak sama. Pakai pulak dengan seluar hitam ni. Pakailah warna merah.
Me: Takkan nak semua merah?
Her: Tapi kalau pakai seluar hitam ni, nanti nyamuk datang. Kan nyamuk banyak kat rumah Neni (mak aku).
Me: (malas dah aku nak layan).

I was not feeling quite well this morning.
Must be the hectic weekend that I had to deal with.
I just felt like going home and sleep, though it was only 9am.
Without realizing, I was praying that I would get high fever or something that I can ask for MC.
Then I thought, how COULD I ask for a musibah?
Astaghfirullah.
Well, now I pray that "semangat kerja bersungguh-sungguh" will visit me real, real soon
and stays around for a long while.
Insya Allah. Amin.

Good day ahead, semua!

GG = ?
Teruskan membaca...

Hari ni nenek mertua aku telah komen:
"Kau ni makin gomuk lah wan tengok"
ditambah dengan:
"Nanti jadi gemuk gedempong"
tak cukup tu:
"Esok-esok jalan pun terhenjot-henjot"
Langsung aku tak makan lunch tadi.
Tapi petang jadi lapar dan mentedarah sepinggan mee bandung.
Hmmm...

I've passed the hungry all the time phase.
And obviously exercise (jogging in specific) really helps.
But I'm still fat. Oh whatever.

Yesterday, after quite a long while, I had a grande ice latte.
Only to regret it last night, and today too.
Why? I couldn't sleep till 3 am.
Lepas tu pagi ni sgt mengantuk... Which I made my son late.
He probably has to pick up rubbish later.
Kesian. 7 years old dah kena.

Yesterday, went to see a friend in hospital too.
He was involved in an accident. His car crashed into a 4WD (maybe Pajero) when the latter made an emergency brake to avoid hitting a guy who had fell from his motorbike.
My friend broke his leg, at the hips. But at the same time, there was something wrong with this heart and chest, sbb ada impact with his steering wheel, which broke. When I saw him, rasa macam tgk adik aku plak. I mean, he is 2 year younger than I am. Tapi macam kesiannya. When I talked to his wife, I couldn't contain myself and broke into tears. Entah apasal, aku kesian and sedih sangat.

I felt stupid sbb I was supposed to be consoling her and not the other way around. Maybe jugak, I was shocked too.. highway seremban tu mmg my laluan biasa pun. Rasa terduduk kejap mengenangkan how I always drive at 160 km/h. Crazy.

Anyway, I'm praying for his speedy recovery so that the whole family can get back to a normal life. I know how hard it is with a husband in a hospital. Ni pulak kat GH, and him not being able to move at all.

Ok, nak gera sekarang to Kuala PIlah. Pray for my safety.

I need help.
I seriously need help.
I find myself CONSTANTLY hungry.
The moment I open my eyes, I'm hungry.
When I sleep I'm hungry.
Even inmy sleep, I could wake up because I'm hungry.
It doesn't help that someone just commented that I am FAT.
He just said it straight as it is.
Hey, you're fat lah sekarang. Yes, he used the word fat, or GEMUK to be exact, sbb he said in malay kan.
Anyway still, I'm hungry.
Is it gastric?
Hahahahahahahahahahahah.

Would it be embarrasing if you thought someone was offering you a drink only to find out she's talking to someone else? And worse still, the was only one other person in the room. Which means, you'll end up as the only person without a drink.

Oh yes. That happened to me this morning. And that person offering was my mom. Never imagined I could be that jobo (bak kata orang Negeri Sembilan - which means, sungguh memalukan, mano nak lotak muko den), with a family member, my mom, some more.. Aaarrgghhh.

You see, I had a small row with mom, pertaining to my younger sister a few days earlier. After that she was cold with me. Okaylah, fine. Then, yesterday she asked my sister why was I not talking to her. Eh, I thought she was the one not talking to me. Okaylah.. fine. This morning, I tried to break the ice lah kan. And I ate breakfast at her house. I tried to make small talk too, but she was not very responsive lah kan.

Then, as I was walking to sit down at the table, passing by her at the counter mixing the a drink, she asked:

"Nak air tak, ibu bancuhkan"

I said, "okaylah.. boleh gak".

Then she just diam, and few seconds later she said:

"(my brother's name), ibu nak bancuh air ni, awak nak tak? ibu buat sekali."

my brother (si anak emas dia tu), said yes.

i continued eating, thinking she was offering us both. then, when she was done, I saw only 2 cups. And both of them just drank and ignored me. I was the obly one without a drink. There was only the 3 of us in the kitchen ok..

Boleh tak? Now, who's not talking to who??!!

Jobo muka seh ni ha! Sedih pun ada gak..

Things I've learned but always forgotten:

1. Never hope. Because when you hope, more often than not, it's seldom fulfilled. So when you don't, there is no expectations to fulfill, and you won't get frustrated. Hope is such a fragile thing.

2. Appreciate what you have. Yes, whatever we receive, embrace it and be grateful. Do not hope for what you don't get, but appreciate what you have.

I always forget these, because as fragile as hope is, it is so easy to do, that before you know it, your heart is already hoping and yearning.

Ohhh, apa nak buat. Terima jelah.